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Joke of the Day

"A sandwich walks into a bar... The bartender says we don't serve food here."

"I'd make a great housewife. I'd boil you a chicken every night. I'd boil you so many meats."

"I know this place will prepare my taxes competently--they have a guy dressed as the Statue of Liberty waving at passersby. -no one ever"

"I deactivated my Facebook so I won't know if any bible verses are ""so true"" for a while."

"Her: How in the world did we max out the credit card?? Me: Beats me *pushes $20K worth of Care Bears under the bed"

"Why did the snowman take his pants off? Because he heard the snow blower coming."

"What does a bored Spaniard eat? Aburrido."

"Nothing is more dangerous than a woman ""gathering her thoughts""."

"What happens when you put Nutella on salmon? You get salmonella"

"Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I'm a nit Will you get out of my hair!"