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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a sexist masseuse? A massage-ynist."

"How many Libertarians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? If it's their lightbulb, none of your damn business."

"You know what's great about being single ? Fucking everything"

"Just bought a guitar. The sale felt a little dodgy, lots of strings attached."

"We should really thank our Dads for bringing us into this world since our Moms were probably tired and not in the mood."

"That's it, I'm done dating comedians... I don't want to get lol'd into a false sense of security again."

"People used to dress as monsters for Halloween. Now they dress as characters from shows you don't watch."

"Hello, I'm waiter, I'll be your Walter tonight. Wait, the other way around. Sorry, first day. Care for a glass of Walter? Ooh boy ok"

"My girlfriend has herpes Now it's ourpes..."

"Nobody told jokes in the USSR... Because in Soviet Russia, jokes tell you."