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Joke of the Day

"Drayman green pushing to go to game five... if you push back he'll hit you in the nuts."

"What is the strongest animal? A racehorse because it can take hundreds of people for a ride at once!"

"How many PMSing women does it take to change a lightbulb? Six. Why? It just does! OKAY!"

"My Mexican friend was freaking out, but I couldn't understand his panic."

"[at dentist office] Well you gave me this paper bib and said to put it on how was I to know I wasn't supposed to undress first"

"A pirate walks into a bar and has a ship's wheel sticking out his crotch. 'Does that not hurt?' asks the bartender. To which the pirate replies: 'Yaarr, it's driving me nuts!'"

"Whenever I have sex, my eyes water and I find it hard to breathe... The doctor says its the mace."

"You know what the doctor told the midget? You'll have to be a little patient."

"What's the best thing about Switzerland? I don't know, but the flag is a big plus."

"What do wizards call unmagical African Americans? Niggles"