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Joke of the Day

"[Dirty] You know what they say about farm girls and horses... They both fell in mud."

"Why won't the holocaust survivor vote for Bernie Sanders? He doesn't want to feel the Bern."

"How do you get a unicorn from neighing in your front yard? Put it in the back yard."

"The fact that there's a highway to hell and only a stairway to heaven says a lot about anticipated traffic numbers."

"My history teacher is a communist, so I made lots of references to the Soviet Union in my essay. I got full marx."

"What was Hitler's least favorite sauce? Jus"

"Trump is asked what his position on women's issues Trump replies ""Look, I know a lot of women and they all have issues"""

"Actually officer, if you factor in the earth's rotation, we were all speeding"

"What time are you supposed to go to the dentist? Tooth-hurty!"

"Wife: Are you coming or not? Me: Is there gonna be alcohol? Wife: It's your grandmother's funeral! M:... Wife: NO! Me: Then I'm not coming."