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Joke of the Day

"Q: What can you do to help ease a heavy traffic problem? A: Carry loaded weapons."

"What did Christian Grey say when he read reviews of his movie? ""People did not like my movie. I guess I am 50 shades of letdown... But I can sure GET UP""!"

"Chinese woman pray before releasing fishes in Paris river la Seine when https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8G77aVXoxTk"

"Helped a turtle cross the road today. So how does this karma shit work? Should I buy a lottery ticket, or just try to fold a fitted sheet?"

"What do you call a castrated German? A Munich"

"I once saw my grandparents have sex And that's why I don't eat raisins"

"When is a letter damp? When it has postage due (dew)."

"Once you commit to the idea of a closed casket funeral it really takes a lot of pressure off how you live your life."

"I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my dad. Not screaming in terror, like his passengers."

"Teacher: You've been e-mailing other pupils that I'm ugly! Pupil: Sorry miss I didn't realise you wanted to keep it a secret."