66711

Joke of the Day

"Every once in a while someone really special walks into your life. That person is usually delivering a pizza"

"Silence is golden but duct tape is silver."

"I learned how to yodel -Knock knock. --Who's there? -Yoda lady. --Yoda lady who? -Good job yodeling!"

"What do Spiderman and I have in common? We're both in love with Mary Jane"

"A man cheats on his girlfriend named Lorraine with a girl named Clearly. Suddenly, Lorraine died. At the funeral, the man stands up and sings, ""I can see Clearly now, Lorraine is gone."""

"I was told I look like a nazi soldier... And I said, ""no, this is a Wehrmacht uniform""."

"A redhead tells her blonde stepsister, ""I slept with a Brazilian..."" The blonde replies, ""Oh my God! You slut! How many is a brazilian?"""

"Dang girl, Are you part of a ponzi scheme? ...because something smells fishy."

"Poison control sounds pretty easy. Most poisons can't even move."

"me: I want to travel to the victorian era & meet a real gentleman [takes time machine back to 1860 England] man: 31? what are u my grandma?"