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Joke of the Day

"[shootout] Cop: I said fire a warning shot Me: I already did. Cop: you shot him in the face Me: warning the others that I'm a very good shot"

"A women asked her husband, ""What do bees eat?"" The husband replied ""Honey, how should I know?"""

"Who is the world's worst suicide hotline operator? Shia Lebouf."

"I'll tell you what I know about dwarves Very little. I can say that. They look up to me."

"Which insect do asian people eat the most of? Lice"

"I got out of bed this morning and decided it was time to turn it around. So, I did a 180 and went back to bed."

"""Hi, my name is Gary and I'm a shopaholic, my favorite place to shop is the alcohol store."""

"What's the difference between 10 dead hookers and a Porsche? I *don't* have a Porsche in my garage."

"What do you call an Asian penguin? A penguyen"

"What do The Sixth Sense and Titanic have in common? I see dead people."