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Joke of the Day

"What did the Nazi interrogater say to the clock that would only tick? ""Ve have vays of making you tock!"""

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"What did the child with no arms get for Christmas? Gloves. Just kidding, he hasn't opened it yet."
"Feminists who get easily triggered... need to just man up."
"Donald has special needs. His small hands fit perfectly around our new shovel model. '8:D' Only today. Only here."
"Yesterday while I was talking with my girlfriend about Ebola, I asked her what she would do if I had Ebola... ""Ebola what, Cheerios?"" Best joke she's ever told"
"2 guys walk into a bar. The first one says i want h2O and has a drink. Says damn this is good. The second guy says ""bartender, I want some h2O too."" The second guy dies."
"I'm a violent sadist, but I also enjoy beastiality. Am I flogging a dead horse?"
"What idiot coined the term ex-fiance Instead of near-Mrs Edit: ex fiancee. I'm not as smart as I thought I was.."
"Sometimes I want to ask certain people, ""So you looked in the mirror and thought you looked good enough to go outside?"""
"Commonwealth Games: Building unrealistic goals and dreams for British athletes going to the olympics since 1930."