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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a pall bearer in Oklahoma? A karaoke!"

"A recent survey shows... A recent survey shows that nine out of ten people masturbate in the shower. Do you know what the tenth does? No? I guess you're one of the nine then."

"""Bro, rumor has it ur dads emo now"" ""Emo? Nah yo, EMU"" ""Im confused.."" *A massive bird moonwalks in w/ a #1 Dad shirt* ""Hi confused, Im Dad"""

"How many perverts does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one. But it takes the whole ER to get it out."

"I'm not kidding Santa is waiting outside my house til it's ""late enough"" to go down my chimney"

"What woman say right before they kill you: Wow. Fine. Whatever. No problem. I'm not mad. Nothing's wrong. Sure, stay friends with your ex."

"What is the closest thing similar to a woman having a period? Your salary. It also comes once a month, and lasts about 5 days. And if it doesn't come, it means you are in big trouble."

"I'd get into a lesbian relationship just to mooch my girlfriend's hair care products."

"Some people have 32 teeth while others have 10... It's simple meth."

"Did you hear about the time Helen Keller fell down the well? She screamed her fingers to the bone."