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Joke of the Day

"My penis was in the Guinness Book of Records The library lady then told me it was indecent to place my dick in between a book."

"What is Peyton Manning's favorite Counting Crows song? Omaha"

"Found my missing cardigan when my sister posted a FB pic of her wearing it."

"Why does the French flag have Velcro? So the blue and red sections are easily removed during a time of war."

"Oliver Twist: ""Please sir, I want some more!?"" Manger: ""Kid, you do realize this is a buffet?"""

"There you go again, overusing big words like some kind of tweeting sesquipedalian. Idiot."

"What was Hitler's favorite letter? Not z!"

"In the prison shower... If you bend over, you can really hit those high notes."

"Recently found out I'm not the devil. I read the tag on my underpants incorrectly; it said ""Satin"". Oops."

"Q. Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven? A. Because if they all went it would be Hell."