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Joke of the Day

"No one looks more suspicious than everyone else at a gas station."

"My GF's anti aging cream went bad. HOW DOES ANTI AGING CREAM HAVE AN EXPIRATION DATE?!"

"I had a wooden whistle... And it wooden whistle. So, I got a steel whistle and it steel wooden whistle. Finally I got a tin whistle, now I tin whistle."

"Do you know the difference between mono and herpes? You get mono from snatching a kiss, but you get herpes from kissing a snatch."

"""Ma'am, please stow your laptop prior to takeoff."" ""This is my Emotional Support Computer."""

"Two brothers were sitting on a plane One said the the other if the plane flies upside down, would we fall out? The other replies, no we'd still be friends."

"best joke ever! The Dallas Cowboys."

"I hate how you're just born out of nowhere, forced to go to school and get an education so you can get a job. What if I wanted to be a duck."

"Sometimes I watch Spike TV just to be reassured that I'm not even close to being the biggest asshole in the world."

"I liked that new movie about the masseuse. It had a happy ending."