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Joke of the Day

"""If I wanted to see a clown, I would have gone to the circus."" What I actually said: ""Yes, Claire, you're makeup looks lovely today!"""

"Have you heard the joke about recursion?"

"What do you say when you are trying to scare your girlfriend? Boo bae! (Read aloud please)"

"What's the difference between a teacher and a conductor on the railroad? One trains the mind the other minds the train."

"Why did the fish sink? (This joke composed by my seriously autistic friend Neil, who LOVES jokes) Because it was a brick."

"Back in the 70's I met this really cool blind man He was really outta sight!"

"All I did was compliment a coworker on their fantastic mustache, and now I'm in HR's office. Thanks a lot, Megan!"

"*throws a grenade at Bruno Mars' girlfriend* *Bruno Mars appears out of nowhere and catches it* *it explodes and both of them die*"

"Roses are red... Roses are red. Violets are red. The grass is red. The fence is red. OH SHIT THE GARDEN'S ON FIRE!"

"AMA Request: Innocent, uneducated rapist"