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Joke of the Day

"What do all Yale and Harvard students have in common? They got into Yale."

"Prayer: Don't give God instructions -- just report for duty!"

"What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts are 99 cents, deer nuts are just under a buck !"

"When an IT person pisses me off I just wait until 4:45pm to crash my computer."

"What's Whitney Houston's favorite type of coordination? HAND-EEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

"The 11th commandment was, ""Talk shit, get hit"" but God totally didn't have enough room on those stone things, so, like, yeah."

"What did the angry dough ball say to the other dough ball? You trying to get a rise out of me! Came up with while I was making pizza."

"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Except bears, bears will kill you."

"My mind is always on fast forward while my body's in slow motion. I'm just like that channel where the sound is out-of-sync w/ the picture."

"Carbs are my starch enemy."