66243

Joke of the Day

"My wife says she hates it when our next door neighbour sunbathes topless in the garden. Personally I'm on the fence."

"Life Goals Me at 14 - get a girl to like me, figure out how to have sex Me at 34 - get a girl to like me, figure out how to have sex"

"I fostered a child the other day ...Got him in the back of the head with all four cans!"

"What sucks about those little hotel shampoo bottles is there's no room for the directions so you kind of have to wing it."

"My favorite word is plagiarism. I invented that word."

"What is 32% black, 45% white... ...gets lit up and changes to blue and red at night? Chicago."

"So a guy walks into a bar with a gun. Angry he snarled, ""Aight, who the hell boned my wife and mom?"" The bartender shook his head and smiled, ""You don't have enough bullets bud."""

"John Cena woke up from a coma John Cena: Where am I? Nurse: ICU John Cena: No you don't. Edit: double enter"

"I thought I would enjoy a baby shower... ...but who wants to be covered in red spaghetti? Plus the little holes in the showerhead seem to clog a lot."

"A jewish boy asks his father for 40 dollars. The father responds ""30 dollars?! What do you need 20 dollars for?"""