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Joke of the Day

"Stealing candy from your kids is awesome... ...because you can justify your actions by stating that candy is not healthy for them. It's a win-win."

"What purrs along the road and leaves holes in the lawn? A Moles Royce."

"What do you call?? What do you call a French terror attack in America? Opening day for Batman"

"I am much less afraid of jail when I'm drunk."

"listen here best buy employee, the constitution says I'm entitled to the pursuit of happiness, so i am taking this will smith dvd ok?"

"Waiter waiter do you have frog's legs? Certainly Sir! Well hop over here and get me a sandwich!"

"Ukrainian underpants Why should you never wear Ukrainian underpants? Because Chernobyl fall out"

"What's a hippie's favorite animal? An elk It has the E, the L, and the K. Would like to hear some more if you guys have any."

"If Hillary Clinton stripped off her pant suit, what would you see? Depends."

"How did Bob die, when he went on a trip to Africa? He got ""boar""ed to death."