65993

Joke of the Day

"This guy's all like ""I think you've had enough beers for one night."" Then I'm all ""Fuck you, fridge. Appliances can't even talk."""

"What would you get if you crossed Bill Gates with Louis Leakey ... a philanthropologist."

"I found The Theory Of Everything It was in the blu-ray box at Walmart."

"""Did you remember to take the dog out?"" Ah crap, I forgot [Dog storms in] I sat at the restaurant for HOURS"

"Three People Killed at Colorado Abortion Clinic Sounds like a slow day to me"

"He who goes forth with a fifth on the Fourth, may not come forth on the fifth!"

"What's the hardest thing about finding a dead baby on the beach? Hiding the erection."

"weed is a gateway drug. *opens gate* Welcome To CoolFunLand"

"What is the worst that can happen to an atheist caricaturist ? To die as a martyr."

"When Kurt Cobain was a child... When Kurt Cobain was a child, his mother told him not to play with guns. I suppose that went in one ear and out the other."