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Joke of the Day

"If someone knocks on your door, knock back from the other side. That someone will go away. It works. Trust me, I just tried it this morning."

"Why did the judge throw out Bram Stoker's lawsuit? His accusations weren't backed up by vampirical evidence"

"Did you hear about the scottish drag queen? He wore pants."

"A wizard is driving down a road and he turns in to a driveway."

"When Chipotle says, ""Guacamole is $1.50 extra, is that ok?"" I pause, then say, ""Hang on, let me call my financial advisor."""

"What toy should you never buy a Jewish child? A Bulldozer!"

"What language do lesbians speak? Gaelic."

"Why are Scientology and Proctology alike? It's all a load of shit."

"Russian Joke Parents got shot, children got shot, friends got shot... Joke over back to field."

"Why did the Shitaki left the party? It was too crowded and there wasnt mushroom. It's a pitty he left... He is a funghi!"