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Joke of the Day

"Why does God love atheists? Because they don't bother Him with incessant prayer."

"Why did the skeleton go to the movies alone? He didn't have any body to go with him."

"""yer a magician, harry"" hagrid said to hary houdini when he graduted magic academy"

"If you ever get attacked by a bear, throw your shark at it. Also, get a shark."

"Aren't we all supposed to die next month or is that cancelled?"

"She was only a fishmonger's daughter .. .. but she'd slap it on a slab and shout ""Fillet!"""

"My girlfriend is like the square root of -100 A perfect 10, but completely imaginary."

"What's a cops favorite TV show? Justified"

"Why did Princess Diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing a seat belt."

"BOSS: I need to see you in my office ME: *I begrudgingly take off my invisibility cloak* oh alright"