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Joke of the Day

"""Here taste this "" followed by a 32 minute speech on all the ingredients."

"Excuse me girlfriend for I have burped. It has been 3 weeks since my last apology"

"FRIEND: Wow you have bought A LOT of frozen food ME: I like to plan ahead FRIEND: But you haven't got a freezer ME: I'm a terrible planner"

"When you say '' friends with benefits'' I assume you own a medical Marijuana dispensary and or a liquor store"

"A&P is in bankruptcy, and Stop & Shop is buying some of their stores. They'll be called Stop & P."

"What's THE dirtiest joke you know? Please make it extra dirty with a side of dirty."

"I bought some shoes from a drug dealer I don't know what they were laced with, but I've been tripping all day."

"I used to be an adventurer like you... But then I took an arrow to the knee."

"What do stupid kids do at Halloween? They carve a face on an apple and go bobbing for pumpkins."

"What are sardines? A little fish that smells like fingers."