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Joke of the Day
"My daughter turns 3 today. Due to our tight budget, we're not telling her."
Next Joke
"ATTENTION: This afternoon I will attempt to travel back in time and change history. You'll know I've succeeded if Germany loses world war II and Wednesday comes after Tuesday."
"My girlfriend got a sex change. I'm not crazy about it but she's happy as Larry"
"What does a Bears fan do when his team wins the Superbowl? He turns off his Xbox, and goes to bed."
"The Hunger Games Don't they play those in Africa?"
"I know how we can solve the California water crisis Collect all the sweat drops from John Boyega"
"My mom's favorite part of Mother's Day is describing my birth in detail to an 18 year old waitress who is just there to get our drink order."
"In West Philadelphia born & raised/ through my anus is where I got most of my AIDS - Tom Hanks in Philadelphia'"
"My math teacher used to call me average.... It was mean."
"ME: bartender. another. BARTENDER: but you just- ME: *slams fist on bar* ANOTHER [bartender reluctantly hands me another moist towelette]"