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Joke of the Day

"Why can't seagulls fly over the bay? Cuz then they'd be baygulls."

"My dog cant hear me yelling at him to stop chasing squirrels, but he can hear a damn cheese wrapper from 500 miles away"

"What did Dr. Frankenstein say when his monster showed up for the ball? You look quite put-together this evening."

"what do you call a grenade thrown into a french kitchen? linoleum blownapart"

"The fact that we're not calling stepdads ""faux pas,"" seems like a missed opportunity."

"I'd like to thank my skeletal system for all the support it's given me over the years."

"5 minutes into watching willy wonka and the chocolate factory and I'm craving chocolate This is why I can't watch breaking bad"

"Why should Rihanna date the Edmonton Oilers? Because they don't beat anybody."

"[chess tournament] RIVAL: [plays move] ME: [knocks board aside. punches rival in face] Chess! COMMENTATOR: He's won every round this way"

"I hate Sharknado, it is SO unrealistic. Rain? In California? Did they even pretend to research for this movie?"