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Joke of the Day

"Seriously ppl who eat pizza with a fork & knife? This is America. We shove it in our faces like the rest of the fat people. Get it together."

"Told my wife that joining the Mile High Club is on my bucket list. She said she didn't give a flying fuck."

"Do you know the difference between a birthday cake and giving a blowjob? No? Well, happy birthday!"

"Why can't a ghost get anyone pregnant? Because he has a hollow-weenie"

"How does an ugly guy get the girl? All he needs is game"

"The Pope is sick. Apparently the Pope resigned because he was sick with bird flu. He got it from a Cardinal."

"What do women and saxophones have in common? They both blow and make different noises when you finger them."

"Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead."

"Never marry a tennis player... Love means nothing to them."

"Will you be my horcrux? I promise I'll leave a piece of me inside you."