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Joke of the Day

"Seriously ppl who eat pizza with a fork & knife? This is America. We shove it in our faces like the rest of the fat people. Get it together."

"Q: What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimers disease? A: Her IQ goes up!"

"Housekeeper: Professor there's a bill collector at the door. I told him you were out. But he wouldn't believe me. Professor: No? Then I suppose I'll have to go and tell him myself."

"Went to England and asked a local how Britt he was He said ""I'm Britt-ish"""

"Why does Russia not celebrate Thanksgiving? Because they hate Turkey"

"A teenager tells his dad ""Dad I just had sex for the first time ."" The father trying to hide his excitement tells his son "" here son sit down and lets talk about it"" The son replies "" I can't"""

"I was born short Thankfully I grew out of that phase."

"A man walks into a bar... Another man ducks."

"*smacks you with my coloring book* Wow. These coloring books really do work to relieve stress."

"Girl: I think we should just be friends Me: ya okay, but I get to be Chandler!"