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Joke of the Day

"What did the turkey say to the turkey hunter? ""Quack! Quack! Quack!"""

"There is an existential horror upon seeing your password in handwriting."

"Mom: *tastefully decorates house* Kid: HERE ARE 20 MILK CARTONS I TAPED TOGETHER TO MAKE A SNOWMAN I EXPECT THIS TO BE PROMINENTLY DISPLAYED"

"I'll betcha that Heimlich guy gets a lot of pats on the back."

"My best friend is so white she pays for her kid's school lunches."

"What do you call an Arab riding a camel with a goat on a leash? Bisexual."

"I had an out-of-body-wash experience in the shower today."

"Blood is thicker than water. Maple syrup is thicker than blood. So pancakes are more important than family. There, I said it."

"What is a priest's favorite snack? Little boysenberries."

"I got arrested for following my dream. The owner of that Ferrari thought I was a hitman shading him."