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Joke of the Day

"The new French tanks have 14 gears 13 go in reverse and 1 goes forward in case the enemy attacks from behind."

"Sorry, science, but religion promised me a place where I'll get to hang out with Grandma again."

"I've been dating this lady who is gluten free... Problem is, we go to a deli, she asks, ""do you want to split a sandwich."" I say, ""sure"" and then I'm just left with the bread."

"What is the easiest way to know if a rabbit is homosexual? His carrot smells like shit"

"Jesus after the Last Supper goes through the bills. ""Guys, seriously, what the fuck, who ordered wine?"""

"Who are you going to trust, some real doctor who says it's impossible to make you a centaur, or me, the guy with a hacksaw and half a horse?"

"It's the cheese police, you're under arrest. Looks like you've been keeping all your cheddar... In a Swiss bank account."

"What kind of company is a 24 hours hamburger joint? Fry-by-night!"

"How many Buzzfeed writers does it take to change a lightbulb? 13\. Number 9 will shock you!"

"People who say ""go big or go home"" seriously underestimate my willingness to go home. Like, it's literally my only goal for most of the day."