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Joke of the Day

"My wife caught me again on the couch with my iPad & a hand towel while I was putting lotion on my feet with my pants off."

"Quick: how do you un-shake a baby?"

"How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants? Juan by Juan."

"Do Not Be Racist ..... Do not be racist; be like Mario. He's an Italian plumber, who was made by the Japanese, speaks English, looks like a Mexican, jumps like a black man, and grabs coins like a Jew"

"I got arrested... I got arrested for punching a guy at a new years party, when you hear an Arab counting down from ten your instincts kick in."

"So Rachel Dolezal becomes a Rapper... Her rap name: the notorius W.H.I.T.E"

"Man: Lima is a capital city in South America. Woman: Peru-ve it!"

"I like my women like I like my coffee... Hot and all over my lap."

"How many perverts does it take to put in a light bulb? Only one, but... It takes the entire ER department to get it back out."

"Who was Mako Mori's existentialist monk brother? Memento."