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Joke of the Day

"Tonight I saw a truck spin out in a snowy McDonalds parking lot, and honestly it was doing a much better job of being president."

"What did the ghost say to the bumblebee? BOO BEE!! <insert titty-twister here>"

"I was blind for a while after eye surgery. Those were dark times."

"A guy walks into a building with his boss. Ouch. You'd think that at least one of them should have seen it. EDIT: A twist on the classic ""a guy walks into a bar"" joke."

"A Guy Walks Into A Bar And Sees... (nsfw, I guess) ... a dog licking its balls. He says ""I wish I could do that"" and the bartender say ""Give him a biscuit, he might let you."""

"I'm pretty sure my kids got my good looks... My wife still has hers."

"How many pushups can Chuck Norris do? All of them!"

"Acupuncture for weight loss huh? I've had little pricks before, and they never helped me work off any pounds."

"My life was depressing and miserable but I turned that around, Now it's miserable and depressing."

"Why was the two-dimensional emo sad? Because nobody would ever know how deep he was."