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Joke of the Day

"[soup kitchen] *homeless man is handed a plate* What the hell is this? -Turkey bacon. *throws tray against wall* I'm hungry! Not desperate!"

"I climaxed on a blind girl's boobs yesterday She didn't see it coming"

"What does a SJW do on Halloween Triggered treating"

"McDonald's being the official restaurant of the Olympics is like smoking being the official medicine of cancer."

"Whenever someone on a plane reclines their seat into you, pull them back even further and whisper in their ear, ""Keep going."""

"When I think about it, Gaston really was a peaceable chap... It's a shame. He was a shoe in for the No-Belle prize."

"What do you call it when the robot from Futurama gets in a minor car accident while wearing a dress? A gender bender Bender fender bender."

"The sun is so self centered... It acts like the world revolves around it."

"HOLD YOUR HORSES. Love your horses. Remind your horses everyday how much you love them. Feed your horses."

"What is worse than three babies in three containers? NSFW One baby in three containers."