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Joke of the Day

"How do they launch a champagne factory? They throw a boat at it."

"Why does Peter Parker have a shower in his apartment? He can't get out of a bath."

"A guy goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide The librarian looks at him and says, ""Fuck off, you won't return it!"""

"*grandma sobbing at my graduation* ""Your parents would have been so proud seeing you up there."" *wipes tear* ""But they didn't want to come."""

"I was born pessimist My Blood Group is B negative"

"My dad always told me to treat women like flowers. So I tore my girlfriend apart limb by limb to find out whether or not she loved me."

"You know that feeling when you've had a long day at work, you drive home and nothing is going your way? It's probably because you're driving in the wrong lane."

"During sex, my girlfriend always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel."

"Why dont blacks celibrate thanksgiving? KFC isnt open on holidays."

"Why did the boy think you hit menopause when you graduated high school? Because it was the end of all your periods."