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Joke of the Day

"Winter is a lot like Justin Bieber. It was cute and exciting in the begining, but now its a bit annoying and it should probably just stay in Canada."

"I got a sweater for christmas... I really wanted a moaner but I got a sweater."

"The mullet is a helmet for domestic violence."

"""How can I help you? Hi I'd like a root canal ""Are you a patient here?"" No ""Who referred you to us?"" No one ""Ok then why-"" I have a Groupon"

"Dear hot girls who complain about how men fawn over you, I've got great news: In 20 years, no one will give a fcuk about you. You'll love it"

"I just emptied a caprisun into a glass and added vodka so that's where i'm at in life."

"What do you get if you cross an agnostic, a dyslexic and an insomniac? Someone who lays awake at night, wondering if there is a dog."

"I hate it when people ask me where I'll be in 5 years. I don't have 2020 vision."

"[restaurant] *motions for waiter* Waiter! Bill please! *Bill comes out & dances embarrassingly to entertain me & the guests* Thanks Bill!"

"Why Did the Italian Go to the Sauna? For a self'a steam."