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Joke of the Day

"I just emptied a caprisun into a glass and added vodka so that's where i'm at in life."

"How do you know if an Asian is depressed? All around them are familiar faces, worn out places, worn out faces."

"Jesus came to me in a dream and asked me ""do you know how much I love you?"" ""This much"" he said and he spread his arms and died."

"The only joke my mom ever made was me"

"I think my wife has a surprise vacation planned. She left a note by the bed telling me I had until tomorrow to have my bags packed."

"Did you hear about the paperboy who masturbated on the job? It was all over the news! (Can't remember where I heard this, so sorry if its a repost)"

"bees What kind of scary bees can produce milk? - boo bees"

"What do you get if you cross King Kong with a snowman? Frostbite."

"My wife asked, ""How do cheese strings work?"" I started to laugh, but then I stopped. How do cheese strings work?"

"A libertarian prostitute looks at her pay stub.. ""I'm sick of all these fucking-taxes"""