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Joke of the Day

"I'll pleasure you in ways you never thought possible like vacuuming and doing dishes"

"Opening a new restaurant, focusing on gourmet noodles and spaghetti. We're also going to offer free delivery. We're calling it Send Noods"

"Why did Princess Leia cry at the end of Return of the Jedi? Her father just died."

"I'm really impressed by both Kim Kardashian and Caitlyn Jenner... Both women got famous by making a dick disappear."

"I have beef- -aroni."

"I own a store that sells crafts painted with blood It's called the Artery"

"How does a deaf and dumb tell a secret to another one? He wears mittens."

"Why do black folk carry around ""boomboxes""? it's just their stereo-type!"

"A few days ago I went to a zoo and the only animal they had was a dog, so I left and went to Starbucks for a coffee... It was a shit coffee"

"Miss Universe pageant will be awesome when the sluts from other planets finally decide to show up."