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Joke of the Day
"Don't send vague texts to girls unless you want them read and analyzed by 7 other girls."
Next Joke
"There were two peanuts walking down the street... ...and one was assaulted peanut."
"Donald trumps next book should be called ... The gift of the grab."
"I recently received my PhD in palindromes. I now go by Dr. Awkward"
"Death. Resurrection. Saviour. I believe in Robocop."
"Are you in the comments? 'cause the real joke is always in the comments."
"What's your favorite word? 5-Year-Old: Empathy! I don't even know what it means! Me- I know how you feel."
"A fool proof way to never feel lonely. If you're ever feeling lonely, watch a horror movie. You won't feel alone anymore."
"Why did the fire fighter go in to save his friend first, and then fight the fire? Because... bros before hose!!! Wubbulubbadub-dub!"
"If the inventor of the iPhone battery ever ends up on life support in a hospital, I hope the back up power source is an iPhone battery."