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Joke of the Day

"Don't send vague texts to girls unless you want them read and analyzed by 7 other girls."

"So I think we have pretty much covered what to do if life gives you lemons"

"My paper aeroplane won't fly. It's completely stationery."

"Twice the cold doth striketh A dog, a ski cabin, and a leather jacket walk into the electric cloud being and merge into the one true demongod."

"How can you tell you are in a math teacher's garden? All the trees have square roots."

"What came before the Big Bang? The Big Foreplay."

"I scratch your back, you scratch mine. We die from loss of blood."

"What did the cop say to Boris Yosanavich after pulling him over for speeding? Quit Russian."

"*pulls knife out of back* *selfies with it*"

"I find gardeners to be very nice people They're really down to earth."