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Joke of the Day

"Congrats to the person that invented the wobbly restaurant table. It's basically everywhere now."

"Great Russian Joke What's the difference between a shark and Vladimir Putin? The shark kills to eat, while Putin kills to ""AAAAARRRGGGHHH!!!"" ""Thump"" ...silence..."

"Q: Why do dogs chase their tails? A: They want to make ends meet."

"Why is Chelsea Clinton growing up a confused child? Because dad can't keep his pants on and mom wants to wear them."

"Mike Pence said that his Vice Presidential role model is Vice President Cheney. Huh. Who would've thought that after making so much LGBT discriminatory legislation that Pence loved Dick?"

"(Sigh) I must be getting older. I just read a whole book about a giant sperm whale called Moby Dick and I didn't giggle once..."

"A Mexican gets deported."

"Two married man talking.. 1st man: Im so lucky, my wife is an angel. 2nd man: Good for you! Mine's still alive."

"My loose coins falls on the floor of my bedroom daily, often without my knowing. It just sits there for weeks sometimes until I pick it up. I guess you could say I have a hard time handling change."

"I recently participated in an erection contest. Unfortunately I didn't do so well. Let's just say there was some stiff competition."