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Joke of the Day

"My mom said if I don't stop using reddit she will bang my head on keyboard But I know she will never do that because she loves medssxcvnklkjfsaarfscnnlknvdgjjbcfggukkfrhhvvvrrjbzddsazvbdwjjhguoiufde"

"An idea only achieves transcendence after it is: 1. Published as book 2. Made into a feature film 3. Turned into an amusement park ride"

"Two guys are drinking at the country club bar... First guy says, ""Hey, you want to go play some golf?"" Second guy says, ""No, not today."" ""Why not?"" ""Because I never drink and drive."""

"Harry: Want to see a magic trick? Voldemort: Let's see what you got Potter. Harry: Got your nose! Voldemort: You know I hate that game."

"I wore my ""Gandalf for President"" shirt to the comic convention. It got a lot of support, but some were turned off by my candidate's hard stance on immigration."

"The scene from The Exorcist where she's tied to the bed cursing like a sailor, but it's me when getting a Brazilian."

"I refused to ask a guy with a Blackberry what time it was because he doesn't even know what year it is."

"What car is it best to grow grass on? K-K-K-Kia"

"What do they call a meeting among the most brilliant people in Burger Land? A MEATing of the minds!"

"I love spending time with my step ladder. I've never known my real ladder."