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Joke of the Day

"If anyone's seen me at my best, and seen me at my worse, and still accepts me for who I am, it's definitely the liquor store."

"What has 9 arms and sucks? Def Leppard!"

"What is 7'' long, rock hard, and makes girls scream at it's sight? The sock under my bed."

"I was in the park the other day wondering why the frisbee looks bigger the closer it gets... And then it hit me."

"Why was Ed single? Because Sheeran away."

"One of my friends had a baby today, and another got a puppy. I think we all know which one I'm going to visit."

"If Hillary Clinton is elected as our first female President it's really going to redefine a few things for me.... ....Like the words President Bush."

"I used to date a dysexic woman... ... I took her home and she ended up cooking my sock."

"Is there a scientific name for the state where you're not hungry but you want to keep eating, besides ""awake"""

"I remember this from a Monty Python ""My dog has no nose!"" Says one man. His friend asks ""well how does he smell?"" ""Stinky!"""