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Joke of the Day

"Rules to live by: 1. Be kind to strangers 2. Don't cheat on your taxes 3. Everything in moderation 4. Bury the body at sea"

"Scientists Have Captured the Sound One Atom Makes and what did the atom say? ""Does it really matter we make up everything."""

"Batman Acting Application A actor walks into the interview. The interviewer asked him questions.""So far you are the perfect person for the job. Last question,are your parents alive?"""

"*Leonardo Dicapreo goes up to accept oscar* *pulls out speech* *blows dust off of it* Yes I'd like to thank the directors of titanic for th-"

"What's Whitney Houston's favorite car? Hyuuuuuuundaaaaaiiiieeeiiii"

"Drake the type of nigga to get a wanted star in Grand Theft Auto, drive to the police station and turn himself in."

"Why does Mexico do so poorly in the Olympics? Because everybody who can run, jump, or swim is already in America."

"Did you hear about the blind porcupine? He fell in love with a pincushion!"

"Q: How many absurdist/surrealist comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: November."

"Did you hear about that mad cow disease? A cow to another: ""Did you hear about that mad cow disease? Makes cows go completely insane!"" The other cow: ""Good thing I'm a helicopter!"""