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Joke of the Day

"People who tweet about politics should have to pass a small test: if i say ""Oh, look, a dead bird,"" and you look UP, we take your phone away"

Next Joke
 
"What's the difference...? What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts are a dollar and deer nuts are just under a buck."
"What did the nudist criminal say when he agreed to a criminal plan? ""I'm in, but I'm not decent."""
"How do you keep a lawyer from drowning? Shoot him."
"What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? I don't cry when I'm cutting up the hooker"
"Who won the Tour de France in 1940? the Sixth German Panzer Division"
"My gynecologist didn't think my ventriloquism skills were as charming as I did."
"Bicycle joke Why did the guy fall off his bicycle? Because I threw a microwave at him"
"My kids are always accusing me of having a ""favorite child"" which is ridiculous because I don't really like any of them."
"Why did the hipster dislike physics? Cause the system is broke, yo."