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Joke of the Day

"if you stabbed me i would probably bleed pizza sauce."

"Why can't Daredevil drive a car? Because he's from New York."

"Have you ever had sex in the woods? Its fucking in tents!"

"What did the baker say to the baby lamb who stole his dough? ""Oh baby ewe...you got what I knead!"""

"Best African soccer team EVER! the French National team..."

"It started with a star and ended with a restraining order."

"Women 15 to 65 At 15, a girl is a SURPRISE. At 25, she is the RIGHT PRIZE. At 35,she is a GRAND PRIZE. At 45,she is a CONSOLATION PRIZE. At 55, she is a DOOR PRIZE, and at 65,she is a GIVEAWAY PRIZE"

"What do you call a blood vessel with a carrot jammed into it? A carroted artery."

"A grasshopper walks into a bar....... And the bar staff said to the grasshopper "" theres a drink named after you "" The Grasshopper replied "" theres a drink called bob?! """

"If your name got called on The Price is Right, it'd be fun to scream, jump up and down, and then run full speed out of the studio"