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Joke of the Day

"Why did Florence Welch sing 'Sweet Nothing'? Because she was out of lemo-nada. It's okay guys, i'll let myself out..."

"Nice try Jehovah's witnesses, but dressing up like the police and saying you have a warrant isn't going to get me to come to the door."

"In the time it took you to read this, Woody Allen made another film and it starred some big names and it was ok and now it's on DVD already"

"Zelda is a web browser Because Link appears in it."

"My anaconda don't want none unless you use proper grammar and avoid using double negatives."

"What does NAACP stand for? National Association of Apes Called People."

"What do you call an elephant that flies ? A jumbo jet !"

"Calling your baby ugly makes me rude? How about you making me look at your ugly baby makes YOU rude."

"What do you get when a clown dies in a desert? Dry Humour."

"I walked in to the library today... and asked if they had the new book on tiny penises. The librarian responded ""I don't think it is in yet."" I said, ""That's the one."""