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Joke of the Day

"Just once, I would like to see a person on a daytime talk show say, ""dad was a good parent...mom was a good parent...the problem is me, I'm just a shithead."""

"Which vitamine are feminists missing? D"

"I broke into your house and slept under your bed all night to protect you from the perverts out there."

"I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my dad. Not screaming in terror, like his passengers."

"What did the stoner say to his girlfriend? We'd be good together."

"What do you call a three legged cow? Lean Beef. What do you call a two legged cow? Your mom."

"Why did the queen bee kick out all of the other bees ? Because they kept droning on and on !"

"How are women like KFC? After your done munching on the breasts and thighs, you have a nice greasy box to put your bone in"

"me: helo darkness my old friend darkness, who just turned 30 and is totaly self-conscious about his age: cmon man im not old"

"LPT: If someone brings in home baked goods to say goodbye after being let go, don't eat them. I used laxatives."