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Joke of the Day

"How much does a dead elephant weigh? A skele**ton**."

"Twilight drinking game rules: 1) drink 40 shots when you press play so you can die before the movie starts."

"Why are archaeologists the most polite kind of necrophiliac? They'll date you before they fuck you."

"What did the black kid say to his mom when he had diarrhea? Help! I'm melting!"

"A punchline walks into a bar. Hello, you have reached the punchline, leave a message after the tone. **beep**"

"If I share something clever and witty on Facebook, don't try and out clever me with your comment. I don't come over and blow out your candles on your cake."

"What did the hat say to the other hat? You stay here. I'll go on a head."

"What did the scientist say when a stranger came inside his lab? What the fuck dude get the hell away from my dog!"

"Why will global warming eventually confuse women trying to reach orgasm? Because it will constantly be changing the position of the clittoral."

"My favorite Jobs: 1. Blow 2. Steve"