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Joke of the Day

"One step forward for cancer research, two steps back for women getting men to go down on them. Thanks, Michael Douglas"

"I wonder if the coach of the opposing team on Air Bud got fired when he explained to the principal how a golden retriever outscored his team"

"[seaside wedding] We are gathered here today to celebrate the- [bride picked up by giant seagull] -completion of the ritual. HAIL GULLTHRAX"

"Cop: show us where the hamburgers are, hamburglar Hamburglar: you've got the wrong guy. I steal ham. You're thinking of hamburgerburglar"

"I've never met an exam I've liked... They've all been too testy for me."

"What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A lickalotofpuss."

"The bra my boyfriend gave me is really uncomfortable. Sorry, I just had to get that off my chest."

"Did you hear about the priestess who accidentally healed the evil darklord? Talk about a clerical error!"

"I looked around for hours, trying to find a Nude Beach. ...but they were all clothed."

"The problem with dieting is food."