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Joke of the Day

"I looked around for hours, trying to find a Nude Beach. ...but they were all clothed."

"I'm going to protect my tweets on Christmas this year so Santa can't ""know when I'm not sleeping or know when I'm awake."" Take that!"

"Where do man-splainers get their water? From a well, actually..."

"Looking for a flexible babysitter. My girlfriend only does missionary."

"Why do they call a ""pap-smear"" a ""pap-smear""? Because it sounds a lot better than ""cunt-scrape""."

"If you come home n your dog gives you a lecture about smoking pot, you probably should lay off the acid too."

"Why do Chinese people love NY? Because they heard we sell hotdogs for $0.75 each."

"A termite walks into a bar and asks: ""Is the bar tender here?"""

"What type of bagel can fly? A plain bagel!"

"I just brushed a whole tooth without looking at twitter"