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Joke of the Day
"Dr. Seuss would have CRUSHED it on 8 Mile."
Next Joke
"You know what I love about our relationship? We don't always need to talk. We can just sit here quietly disliking each other."
"Its real cute how pedestrians confuse ""right of way"" with immortality."
"If you've never gotten stuck in a dress you tried on over your clothes in the middle of a clothing store, then you're not me."
"How do you starve a black guy? Put his food stamps in his work boots"
"What is the world's most religious fish? The manta pray, at least until the morpray eel hears about this."
"Popcorn. Potato. Frozen Pizza. Cold Coffee. James Incandenza. Defrost. Refrost. Cancer. Corn. """"Aren't these weird microwave buttons?"
"Google News now awards ""Badges"" for viewing stories. Also, remember: if you manage to finish one novel without pictures,...you get ice cream!"
"Me:Did you have a ruff day? Dog: Me:What? That was funny! Dog: Me:Do you not like puns? Dog: Me:I think I'm high. Dog:Did you smoke my weed?"
"My wife is amazing in bed. She can fall asleep immediately no matter how loud the TV is on."