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Joke of the Day

"Harry Potter can't tell the difference between a cooking pot and his best mate. They're both cauldron."

"Is your refrigerator running? Because if so, I might vote for it."

"Sometimes I look at my friends and think to myself, ""Where did I meet these crazy people?"" But then I think ""What would I do without them?"""

"My mate tried some Walkers mystery flavour crisps last night and swore they tasted like his wife's pussy, He thought it was his imagination but everyone in the pub said he was right!"

"Neil Armstrong used to tell really bad jokes about walking on the Moon. Nobody would laugh, but then immediately after Neil would follow up with, ""Ah well, I guess you had to be there."""

"How are American beer and making love in a canoe the same? They're both fucking close to water."

"Give a man a jacket, and he will be warm for the day. Teach a man to jacket, and he will never leave his house."

"I hate when the cops throw me in the back of the squad car like they didn't hear me call shotgun."

"what did president abe lincoln call his journal? ...his lincoln logs"

"Maybe snakes are always angry cause they don't have arms to hug with :("