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Joke of the Day

"What did Sean Connery do when he saw a guy drowning? he started undressing and yelled 'I will shave you'"

"Why did the chicken cross the road in Missouri? To show the opossum it could be done."

"[doctor's] INVISIBLE MAN: Am I cured doc? DR: Your tests are all clear IM: Is that good? DR: [talking to wrong empty chair] I'm not sure"

"The news from Australia yesterday was terrifying That poor Muslim guy, I'd hate to be trapped in a room full of Australians too."

"Want to hear a joke about construction? Sorry, it still isn't finished yet."

"A dick has a sad life. His hair is a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor is an asshole, his best friend is a pussy, and his owner beats him."

"Types of people There are two types of people. People wh don't finish what they start and..."

"A girlfriend is like a good joke. If I told you I had one, you'd probably laugh."

"What do you call a gay man with a hard-on? Homo erectus."

"Step 1) Get a job selling punctuation marks. Step 2) ?????? Step 3) Profit."