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Joke of the Day

"What is it called when Albert Einstein masturbates? A stroke of genius."

"Why do people consistently make bad chemistry jokes? Because all the good ones Argon."

"Cat: ""What did you get him for his birthday?"" Dog: ""Pant . . . pant!"" Cat: ""Great . . . he needs a pair of pants!"""

"If your problem can't be solved by me saying ""that's messed up"" and nodding a lot, then you shouldn't come to me for help"

"Why couldn't the headless horseman win the race? He couldn't get a head."

"I'm going to name my daughter ""Up""... so when she brings a boy home, I can look him straight in the eye and say, ""Don't you dare fuck up."""

"Why do 2 bit gamblers never win at blackjack ? Because they can only count to 3."

"My boss gave me a nice pat on the back the other day.. It made things a bit awkward on the shitter though."

"Do you like pudding? Bill Cosby liked pudding his dick where it didn't belong."

"""You are what you eat"" thats funny, I don't remember eating a pathetic failure"