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Joke of the Day

"What do black guys have that's longer than most white men's and gets even bigger when they touch a woman? Their criminal record."

"So i made a joke about paper.. but it was tearable"

"What do you call a police officer standing on dog poop? On duty"

"What's Sam Smith's favorite type of nut? [It's an alllllllllmond](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fB63ztKnGvo&feature=youtu.be&t=37s)"

"What do a squirrel and a piano have in common ? Both can climb trees, except the piano"

"I told my wife I wanted her to spread my ashes for traction when the back porch gets icy That way she can put me to work and step on me one last time."

"I only hug people when I need to wipe my hands off."

"How do IT technicians prefer to be paid? Cache in hand."

"There's a name for people without beards Women"

"Doctors say that one piece of bacon takes 9 minutes off of your life. That has to be most delicious form of suicide I have ever heard."