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Joke of the Day

"What did one octopus say to the other octopus? Will you hold my hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand?"

"DR DOG: *applying a cast to a broken bone* Are you sure you don't just want me to cut it off?"

"What do you call a singer gently swaying from one side to another? A rocking Cher."

"What's the difference between a meeting and a funeral? A funeral is a meeting where you're dead outside as well as in."

"Life is basically just a constant effort to not be disgusting."

"Muhammad The police would be upon him"

"I'm not flirting. I'm just being extra nice to someone who is extra attractive. "

"I got lost in your eyes. But I also get lost in most department stores, so I wouldn't read too much into it."

"What's the difference between a cat and a comma One has claws at the end of its paws, the other's a pause at the end of its clause."

"I put 1 ball in my pocket. But, my friend found 3."