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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a pick pocket and a peeping Tom A pick pocket snatches watches."

"The thing I most look forward to after Christmas is taking down the decorations and, for 4 minutes, it feeling like I live in a mansion."

"What do you call it when Bob Dylan sucks your dick in a hurricane? The answer my friend... is blowing in the wind. The answer is blowing in the wind."

"I was visiting /r/nononono and I saw the rule on people not being able to walk away from something, and so I thought... What if they crawled away?"

"Six jews are in a park, two leave. How many people are left? Zero, because jews aren't people."

"If what we are doing here is art, then my Tweets could be classified as kindergarten finger painting."

"Show your neighbor they shouldn't park their boat outside of their house by filling it with two of every animal."

"Did you hear about the newly sponsored gay NASCAR team? Its always in the rear of the field."

"If you rub two sticks together fast enough, you'll eventually start a widespread panic on the subway."

"I must remember...no matter how well hidden I might be in my cardoard box fort, my boss can still track me down by the giggling."